Who needs New Years to start fresh?

Wow. It's been awhile huh? I took a peek at the last date I blogged, gasped, and then realized something. There's a reason I've been watching all the pounds and inches I lost slowly but surely creep back on. There's a reason my work clothes fit too tight for my liking. There's a reason my summer wardrobe from last year doesn't fit at all. Why? Cause I gave up. I gave up on hit, I gave up on photo blogging my food and progress, and ultimately I gave up on myself. How disappointing is that?? I mean I can sit here and rationalize and justify all the reasons why I quit on myself. I was busy with work. I was stressed a lot. My anxiety had flared up. I take transit to work now and my husband takes the car. I was tight financially. And on. And on. But the truth is that while all of the above might be valid, at the end of the day, I had a choice and I made it. And the body I see when I look in the mirror, the clothes that don't fit well (or at all) and the fact that my endurance and overall fitness has drastically decreased are all the consequences of that decision. Bottom line - I feel like crap. That being said, I made a decision today. I'm going to quit feeling sorry for myself, quit making excuses and do something about this! Most importantly, I'm making a decision to make myself a priority again!

Today I started with baby steps. I set some small goals.

1. Stop drinking Starbucks EVERY day. I'm going to try for 3 times per week. 

2. Use the money I'm saving from my Starbucks semi-boycott and rejoin Burnaby hit. 

3. Start taking pics of my food again. 

And finally...

4. Take a new 'before' pic, re-measure myself and try not to cry!!

Progress to come....stay tuned!

Motivated by bum

So here's the deal. I stopped my blog and my photo diet about eight months ago. I haven't been exercising for the past two months. In all honestly, I started slipping a bit before then. Work got busy. Money got tight. I told myself I didn't have time for 30 Minute Hit and that if I was only going to go once per week I couldn't afford it. I told myself I'd run instead. And I did for awhile. But then I found excuses not to do that too....some legit (nerve pain in my calf), some not (I don't have time to exercise). And as a result my pants got tighter. My energy level dipped. I craved carbs constantly. I drank a lot of wine. Ok, well that last one is pretty normal.

 I realized that I'm sick of sitting around slowly watching all the progress I made last year slip away. I'm even more sick of not so slowly watching my ass grow bigger.

Anyone who has my husband as a friend on facebook knows that he's an ass guy. He loves looking at bums.  You can tell from the constant stream of 'booty of the day' and 'big booty of the day' and whatever other booty group he follows on facebook. Sometimes I think he has a problem! Some women would probably wonder if I'm okay with it and does it bother me? The answer is usually yes I am and no it doesn't. Why? Because usually I'm pretty secure in myself and the way I look. Plus, it helps that he reassures me on an almost hourly basis that he loves my ass best of all! And his hand is magnetically attracted to my bum - I'm constantly swatting it away. However I did notice that lately seeing the smoking hot bums on facebook was irritating me. When I thought about why I realized it has nothing to do with my husband and everything to do with me. I don't like how my ass looks as much as he does anymore. I'm feeling insecure.

Rather than continuing to pout about it, and do nothing about it, I decided that the best way to like my bum again is to get my ass in gear! Pun intended! I don't really want to end up having to start over completely from day 1!! There's still hope!

So....here's what I did. I got my bum out of bed early even though it's my day off. I drove my husband to work (dropped my kid off on the way) so that I can have the car. I told myself "Shannon. You ARE returning to Burnaby Hit today. No excuses." Then I proceeded to do all the running around I needed to do, while keeping in mind that Hit is open until 1pm on Fridays. I dropped off paperwork at Children's Hospital. I went to get an x-ray done on my knee. Then the excuses started creeping into my brain. "Well, it's getting late and you still have other things to do. Maybe you can just go tomorrow. It's Saturday and you have to be in that area in the morning anyway..."  Then I slapped myself and said stop it!! Okay, not literally, more like a mental slap. I reminded myself of the bum I want and the fact that summer is basically here and it would be nice to wear shorts without stressing about it. And I reminded myself that

So I went to Hit!! Yay me!!

I almost died during the circuit. Holy crap that workout is hard - I had almost forgotten. But once I got there, the familiar surroundings along with my perfectionist tendencies pushed me to work my ass off (another pun) and I made it through the circuit, giving it my all, dripping with sweat while Genevieve cheered me on! I sat down afterwards (fell might be a more appropriate description) and did everything in my power to not give in to the nausea. It reminded me of the time I made my husband do the circuit for a cancer fundraiser - 'cept he did throw up haha! Despite the fact that I was holding down my breakfast (toast and a chai latte - really need to work on that again), I felt GOOD! I was happy, felt less stressed and remembered how awesome it is to punch and kick my way to a toned body....with a firm ass!

I felt so good that I decided to make a sandwich stacked full of veggies for lunch. I felt so good that I'm going back tomorrow. I felt so good I decided I wasn't going to swat my husband's hand away when he inevitably grabs my bum after I pick him up from work. I felt so good that I decided to start my blog back up!

And on that note - no food pics for today. I'll aim for tomorrow.

Catch up post 1: pre-trip

Okay, I'm going to be honest. Between being crazy busy at work, going to Edmonton for the long weekend and dealing with my own OCD/anxiety issues, I've gotten way off track in terms of my blog. It's been like 10 days! I was taking all the pictures still, but not finding/setting aside time to work on my blog. Eventually, after falling about 8 days behind, I'll admit, I got down on myself, gave up and stopped taking pics (for a day). Part of it was because I missed my blog and couldn't fathom where I'd find time to get caught up and part of it was guilt/self-pity about my not so great eating during my trip to Edmonton. So I decided to give up. Probably, I should've cut myself some slack. After all, I went for 2 runs and also went to Edmonton Hit while I was away for the long weekend, but some how my perfectionist tendencies got the best of me and I was upset with myself for my 'slips'. Today, I realized I was going about this all wrong and decided to do a three part quickie catch up blog. No stories (well maybe minimal stories), and mostly just pics of my eats. This way, I can get caught up, get back on track and will feel better about myself, my eats, my fitness and everything else! So here goes...part one - pre-trip to Edmonton.

Note - some of the pics have labels...the rest I thought you could figure out ;-)

Monday Oct1

                                                                               Chickpea salad

                           Black bean quesadilla.

And I went to Hit too! Like my kick the *&%! out of cancer t-shirt?! Day one of the fundraiser!

 

I also found time to go to a Girl Guide District meeting too.

Tuesday Oct 3

                                                                                     Black bean quesadilla (again)

Worked evenings = no Hit :-(

Wednesday Oct 3

                                                                         

Sandwich, veggies and dip, pickles, cookie           Rice and asparagus



Didn't eat much, but went to Hit! Not once, but twice!! Yay (for the Hit part)! I needed to get as many workouts in as possible, partly because of the kick the *&%! out of cancer fundraiser and partly to make up for the missed time that would be happening with my upcoming trip. I also went to Girl Guides and then brought my guinea pig to my sister's house. She was babysitting him while my family goes to Edmonton for Thanksgiving. :-)

Thursday Oct 4

Thursday morning, I was stressed about my upcoming trip and the fact that I had done NOTHING to prepare for it, so ended up skipping breakfast. Unless my Starbucks soy chai latte counts?

I went to work with no food, but somehow got some work done. On my lunch, I needed to 1. get food and 2. de-stress, so I went for a walk down Robson. While on my walk, I saw a gorgeous dress in the window of Bebe...the kind of dress I used to wish I could wear, but never felt like I would look good in with my extra flab. But now, since I've been working out and eating well (mostly) I felt like it was possible that I might have the kind of body that would look good in the dress. So, I went in the store and tried it on. So here's where it gets a bit crazy...or at least I do. For people like my family and my husband, who know me well, this 'Shannon is crazy moment' probably won't come as a surprise. The rest of you might shake your heads...but don't laugh...too hard anyway!

Once I got the dress on and was standing in the fitting room, I had a 'moment'. I was completely indecisive...I thought it looked good, but needed a second opinion. My self-consciousness got the best of me (again) and I'm well aware of the fact that I am constantly battling my distorted image of my body. So, I wanted to send a pic of me in the dress to my husband who is fully prepared for my random craziness. Unfortunately, my phone makes really loud noises when I take pictures and I suddenly felt like if the sales person or other customers heard me taking pictures of myself in the ladies change room that it would be the most embarrassing thing in the world at that could happen to me at that moment in time. So I did what any rational woman would do...and I took a video of myself in the dress. You might wonder why? Because it's SILENT!!

So here's what I sent my husband.

See how crazy I am?? He thinks I'm nuts! And unfortunately his phone wouldn't play the file. So I left the store without a second opinion, without the dress, and feeling ridiculous and confused. Sigh.

Here's my eats the rest of this day. It called for two glasses of wine.

Falafel wrap                                 Fruit explosion muffin                         Hot chocolate

    Parmesan garlic red pepper linguini

 

Worked evenings = No Hit again. Packed for Edmonton. Went to bed. That sums up my pre-trip/busy week eats. Stay tuned for the trip summary!

I haven't forgotten!

Just a quickie blog post in case anyone is wondering...I've been super busy and the past week has been a gong show of rushing around and travelling! I haven't forgotten my blog, but I'm way behind so will be trying to catch up over the next few days. Tonight is simply RELAX night and I'm going to try to resume a normal schedule tomorrow. I'll update you more then! :-)

~Shannon

Cheers to the freakin' weekend!!

I'll drink to that!

Next up a Saturday - Sunday double take. Saturday morning started off with a quick piece of multigrain toast on my way out the door.

Where was I going bright and early Saturday morning? To pick up my friend from the airport! Yay! I hadn't seen her in a long time and was excited to spend the day with her. I didn't even feel guilty about missing Burnaby Hit to do so...it's been a long time! After I picked her up, we drove back to my place, parked the car and went for a walk to grab a coffee. Starbucks soy chai latte for me!

When we got back to my house, we chatted for a bit. It was really nice catching up! All of the friends I've made since living here are great and I value our friendships a lot. But there's something comforting about friendships where you share a longer history together. I guess that will come in time with the new friendships too! For me personally though, I also know that I need to work on prioritizing time for friends in my life. I often get so caught up in doing things for everyone else in my family, particularly my daughter, that I won't have a chance to spend time with my friends for months at a time! I sense another goal formulating....

After the gab session on my couch, we all (me, my friend and my family) headed downtown to walk around and have lunch before dropping my friend off at her hotel. Lucky girl was going to the Madonna concert that evening! For me, lunch was tofu yellow curry on rice from Thai Express. It had pineapple, potatoes, carrots, onions and peppers. It tasted as good as fast food curry gets.

After lunch, we dropped my friend off at her hotel and headed home. I didn't have time to be sad or miss her because as soon as we got home it was time to get ready to go out again. Tonight was a surprise 30th birthday party for a friend! Fun! In between showering, getting dressed and doing my hair and makeup, I managed to find time to eat a protein bar.

Once I was ready we headed out to Maple Ridge. My friends that know me well, also know that I'm more or less late for everything. So the surprise was at 7pm, which meant my friend wanted everyone there by 6:30. And since she wanted everyone there for 6:30, she asked me to be there for 6:00. I arrived at 6:15 which worked perfectly for everyone! Shortly after 7pm, her husband - the birthday boy - arrived. We all huddled in the living room in anticipation of the big surprise when he walked in the door....but he took his sweet time getting in. Eventually he came in and was definitely surprised - the surprise party was a success!

Once the birthday boy arrived, the party started. My girlfriend had made some kind of alcohol punch that looked like this.

So that is picture of drink one. Times it by roughly 6-8 and you have my alcohol consumption for the night. I lost count. What the hell, it's not like I go hard on a regular basis right? And I had my husband as the designated driver. Plus, I don't think there was tons of alcohol in the punch because I didn't fall asleep on the car ride home like the last time I 'went hard'. Insert embarrassed face here.

Anyway, enough about my alcohol consumption. Just like at any good party, there were snacks to go around. I managed to limit my food indulgence to what was on this plate...

...plus maybe another 3-4 pieces of bread with spinach dip. Not horrible. Tasted great. As did the cake.

Only a small piece! We spend the night laughing in front of a fire in their back yard. The kids remained semi-oblivious to the adult fun and spend most of the night jumping on the trampoline. Good times for all. We left the party around midnight and headed home. I was a happy girl, saw three of my girlfriends all in one night! Big smiles from me!

On the way home, my husband and I decided we were hungry. Normally, I know eating at midnight is not a great for the waistline. This evening my judgment was a bit impaired, so I really didn't care! We stopped in at Domino's Pizza and got two small ones - cheese for me, meat lovers for my hubby. When we got home, I had two pieces.

And a vodka cooler. You know, 'cause I hadn't had enough yet.

I sat up with my hubby for a bit, then went to bed. That was the end of my Saturday!

You would think that I would've been hungover Sunday morning right? Wrong. I felt great. Weird. I'm not one for sitting around in the morning, so shortly after waking up (around 10), I went for a walk around the neighbourhood with my husband. Not too far, around 2.5km. When we got home, I made myself a piece of multigrain toast.

I was out of cereal and yogurt again.The rest of my morning consisted of a bit of laundry and a bit of work I brought home to do over the weekend. Not sure what possessed me to work on reports from home on a Sunday morning but I did. Less to do Monday maybe? Around lunch time my daughter and I reheated some of the leftover pizza.

Maybe not the healthiest choice, but definitely a frugal choice. I'm trying to use up all the leftovers in my fridge before we go to Edmonton next weekend! In the afternoon, my hubby and daughter went out to get her IPOD touch screen fixed for our road trip. I continued to do work from home and after about two hours of that, decided to go for another walk. This time I walked to the mall. I tried on clothes that fit wonderfully but for some reason didn't buy them. Then I walked back to the butcher shop by my home where my husband and daughter picked me up. All in all, I walked 7.5km through hilly Burnaby. I deserved a protein bar for that!

It was my last one! At least until I make my next batch when I get home from Edmonton.

I then decided to BBQ dinner with the stuff I picked up from the butcher shop.And while I BBQ, I like to drink a vodka cooler.

It makes me feel like summer...even though it's clearly fall. Dinner on the BBQ consisted of grilled potatoes and sun-dried tomato/feta stuffed zucchini for me and the addition of steak for my hubby and daughter. I also made us some ceasar salad. Yum....

After dinner I cuddled on the couch with my daughter and watched the last season summary episode of our favourite 'mommy-chicklet time' show - Once Upon a Time. Then, we watched this season's premier too! Love that show! By the second episode we were ready for some munchies, so we ate the last of my Jalapeno-cheddar Doritos. Here was my portion.

Thank god those are done! No presence = no temptation for me!

And that was my eats this weekend. I think I have some work to do this week to make up for some of it.... :-)

Trying to man up

Okay. Let's face it. I've fallen way behind on my blog. I've been keeping up with the photography and taking pictures of everything I eat. I've even been keeping up with uploading them to the computer. But somehow, I just haven't been keeping up with the blogging part so am constantly trying to catch up. So I'm going to try to fix that today with a triple day post - Wednesday, Thursday, Friday in one. Hopefully, once I'm caught up I'll be able to stay that way!

Wednesday morning's breakfast was something like this. Quick and easy.

I ate and started working right away...I was working from home that day. This worked out perfectly because it also happened that my daughter was sick on Wednesday, so I was able to stay at home with her. I felt bad because staying home sick meant my daughter was missing both picture day AND a pizza party her classed earned for doing the best in a school-wide fundraiser. So I tried to make it better for her by taking a lunch break and making 'do-it-yourself' mini pizzas. Sick or not sick, I was going to be a good momma and bring the pizza party to her!

My pizza is on the right and her's is on the left. I'm pretty sure she made a triple cheese layered pizza. Mine stuck to the bare minimum!

The before...

...and the after!!








I'd like to say my daughter and I 'pizza partied' all afternoon, but I'd be lying. She was sick and I had work to do. So she laid on the couch and I worked on my computer. Her dad came home from work and didn't seem to be feeling great either, so after I wrapped up my report writing for the day, I rushed out to get in a 30 minute hit. It felt darned good and when I got back home, I ate a protein bar...

...followed by a glass of wine while I made dinner.

Dinner tonight was soup with 'dippers'. Thank you Rachel Ray!

After dinner, my family all went to bed. I stayed up and ate raspberries, had another glass of wine...

...and ate toast.

Again. It was like deja vu of my favourite eats from earlier today! And that wraps up my Wednesday.

Thurday started like this. Starbucks soy chai latte.

 

My daughter was home sick again, my husband stayed with her and I still somehow didn't have time to make myself breakfast before running out the door. Go figure. I did however have time to pack myself a morning snack (10 of each)...

...and a lunch (leftovers from the Wednesday's dinner.

Because my daughter was home sick with my husband, I didn't need to do a split shift this Thursday. Instead, I just stayed at work and worked right through to my evening shift. This was good because it meant I could leave work early Friday. It was bad, because I had nothing packed for dinner. I thought about and tried to hold off further eating until when I got home at 8:30ish, but the carb and sweet cravings kicked in and I caved. My dinner was a Tim Horton's hot chocolate and fruit explosion muffin. Sigh....

I can't even begin to express to you all how guilty I felt while eating this!

After my program, I headed home. When I got there I ate a protein bar ('cause I hadn't already had enough sweet stuff in my eats today).

And then I decided that I was going to make my muffin and hot chocolate into an afternoon snack and have dinner late instead. So I made a salad.

Romaine lettuce, tomatoes, red onion, cucumbers, shredded cheese and sunflower seeds with Italian dressing. There. That was better. A real dinner. At 9pm. Oh well, at least my husband and daughter got to eat earlier at a reasonable time. Do I even need to mention I had a glass of wine with 'dinner'?

And because I can't seem to get a hold of myself in the evenings anymore, and have been regularly caving to carb cravings I also had a piece of multigrain toast and a handful of Jalapeno-cheddar doritos for a late night snack (or two). 

Sigh. I don't even want to talk about it. More guilt!! Let's just move onto Friday okay?

I told myself it was going to be a better eating day. Actually, I told myself I was going to be healthier all around today. So the first thing I did when I woke up is went for a run. Yep. Hell froze over...again. I ran 3.5 km in about 23 minutes. Not bad for me running first thing in the AM. Have I mentioned I'm not a morning person?

When I get back I ate the last of my raspberry yogurt and Kashi honey almond flax cereal.

Then I got ready and headed to work. My hubby took my daughter to school as she was feeling better. All was well in my world. My morning at work consisted of a staff meeting. My last one at Vancouver Parole for awhile. I was kind of sad thinking about it! I'll miss working here...but at least I'm going back to my old job working with some really great people!

Because I worked some extra hours Thursday, not long after my meeting I was able to head home, where I decided to eat some lunch. I was torn between keeping up the healthy choices I had made so far and engaging in a pity party about leaving Vancouver Parole. I decided on both and lunch was a salad (yay healthy choices) with nachos (yay pity party).

I spent some time in the afternoon cleaning my house as I had a friend arriving in town on Saturday...I'd had enough of house guests arriving to see my messy house! Afterwards, I went to pick up my daughter from school...right after eating a protein bar.

When I got to her school it was raining, which really sucked because it was her school's fall festival fundraiser! We toughed it out and eventually it cleared up (in between bouts of rain). It was a really fun fundraiser I must say. My chicklet had tons of fun going on a giant bouncy slide, getting a glittery 'princess' tattoo, playing carnival games, getting a blue streak in her hair and trying to throw a whipped cream pie in her principal's face. Did I mention she also got to go in a giant hamster ball?

Good times all in all. Thank god she wasn't still sick! Somehow, I managed to keep the festival food to a minimum. I even had a fruit cup they were giving away!

Not too bad for a festival if I do say so myself.  After our fun filled evening, my daughter and I went home after picking up my hubby who had gone to work despite not feeling that great himself. When I got home, I watched television with my family and enjoyed a glass of wine...

 ...followed by a piece of multigrain toast with three raspberries.

Well four actually. I ate one before I took the picture. Oops. And that was it for my eats over the past three days. Hope my super long post didn't bore you. Next up is the weekend...coming soon!