Giving up and goals

 

As some of you know, I teach programming to federal offenders, that covers everything from violence, substance abuse, anger, negative associates and general crime.What I see a ton of in my day to day business is guys struggling with substance abuse issues. One of the primary things I try to teach them is to NOT let a slip become a relapse. And I got to thinking that this lesson is something I can apply to myself and my fitness goals.

I can't tell you how many times I've started and stopped fitness routines and diets. If I'm honest with myself, one reason for this relates to giving up because I messed up. In terms of dieting, I'd deprive myself of the goodies I love which is difficult if not impossible to maintain indefinitely. Then I'd give in and eat some of the not-so-good food, get disappointed that I didn't have 'enough' self-control to stay away, say 'screw it' and give up. Or I'd justify having more junk food with the fact that I already messed up anyway, so what difference does it make if I have another? This is exactly what I tell the guys in my group not to do in regards to their own mistakes! Sigh.

Fortunately, I think this time will be different. Why? One, I've set small realistic goals. They are SMART too - specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time framed. The goals I came up with when I first started my new lifestyle was the following (this was pre-blog):

1. Attend Burnaby Hit 3x/week
2. Drink 4 or more 8oz glasses of water per day.
3. Drink Starbucks chai lattes every second day.

I set three goals that I thought would challenge me to make some changes in my life, but that were realistic for me. One of the most important things about these goals in my opinion was the wording. I tried to set goals focusing on what I WANTED TO DO do rather than what I DIDN'T WANT TO DO. For example, my goal could have been not to drink starbucks everyday, but right off the hop it means depriving myself and honestly...how many times have any of us done something that we've told ourselves we 'shouldn't do'? Instead, I chose to focus on allowing myself to enjoy my drink every second day. I want to keep things positive by focusing on what I can do not what I can't do.

The second thing I did that's helping me stay on track is allowed myself room for error and adjustment. If I 'slip' and have a starbucks two days in a row, I don't decide I'm a failure and give up...I make an adjustment (not have one on my official 'on day' and readjust the schedule). If I only get to Burnaby Hit twice one week, I go four times the next week to balance it all out. In other words, I make mistakes, learn from or fix them and move on!

You'll also notice I didn't set eating rules. Why? Because it has NEVER worked in the past for me. Maybe it works for some people...I'm NOT one of them. Instead of calorie counting and only eating certain foods, I've decided for now to just log my eating and be aware of it...self-monitoring if you will. When I have to look at pictures of everything I ate at the end of the day (and POST THEM), it makes me think more about my choices throughout the day. This awareness of what enters my mouth is what's making this work for me so far.

Pretty soon, I'm going to think about adding more to my goals in order to continue challenging myself. But right now I'm celebrating the fact that I'm still working hard on them, haven't given up and am seeing success! I've accepted the fact that I will fail sometimes and am determined to learn and move on! And I feel good about being able to share that lesson with others :-)